Month (2)3(2)

JD:

“Well, there you have it.” I say in response to her answer.

I hold off on asking the Queen any questions about Bond until she has finished her three-course tea sitting. I do worry she could depart early, if the conversation causes some discomfort.

I patiently wait until she has finished the orange tea, and then pour the second brown tea [beef broth] into a different cup.

“You know, I do not think it best to base our own actions on our observations of others. I mean, can you imagine if took example on how a drone should behave from 232? I dare say I would’ve smashed at least one of the tea cups by now, and made an absolute mess of the doilies. No – if I were 232, I would not have even thought to bring doilies!”

The unsophisticated horror!

Jean:

I take the second tea and look at it.

It's not as pretty as the last cup.

The smell was also very good so I trust my nose over my eyes and give it a try.

Hmm.. not sure if I like this one as much.

But it too was making me feel "better" so I force myself to finish the rest.

I did not realize I felt so horrible before. I suppose I just got used to it.

I giggle at Drone's sound advice, especially regarding 232.

He was an aggrevating little drone wasn't he?

"But what if it is someone you love and respect? What if, being similar makes you.. belong and being dissimilar makes you-"

Not...

I look down feeling like I said too much before pushing my second cup away.

JD:

My Queen certainly wastes no time scoffing down the next tea! She really is getting her strength back!

I attempt to pour the third tea [custard], but the mixture is awfully gooey and refuses to travel down the spout. I am forced to reach into the tea pot with a spoon and give it a stir, before it will relent. At least the colour is more pleasing than the last, a bright cheery yellow!

At first, I am glad that my Queen finds humour in my example. But she soon returns to sadness, as she talks about being similar to someone you care for. I do wonder if she is talking about her mother…

“Well, I would imagine that this person also loves and respects you. In which case, I do not believe they would wish for you to change. You are the person I love and respect the most. Would it please you, if I were to act more like you?”

I do not think my Queen would be happy if I were to don her blob fish pyjamas and join in on her science experiments! But of course, if I am mistaken, then I shall waste no time in creating a second ‘onsie’!

Jean:

I shake my head in amusement.

Drone doesn't understand.. he is normal.

Well, mostly normal.

He doesn't know what it's like to be this thing that I am. Especially now, during this war where I could at any moment be used to destroy my very own people.

I internalize my feelings and try to change the subject.

"That one has a unique smell."

I look over at the custard cup before glancing back at Drone again.

JD:

I do worry for our Queen. I wonder if this is what humans refer to as ‘self-esteem issues’, which I have heard are quite common in youth. It is good that she opened up to me somewhat, but I get the feeling that not all has been said.

Hmm…

“Have you… check in with your esteemed Queen Mother recently?”

It is most definitely not my place to be asking such a question. However, it is my role to ensure that the Queen is healthy and well-cared for. Perhaps Queen Laiyna would be the best one to offer advice on this issue.

I nod as she comments on the tea, but do not allow it to steer away from the topic at hand.

Jean:

"No, I can't! Not until I am finished!"

I snap.

I am not ready to see her yet

I stare at the last tea cup upset.

"I don't want anymore."

JD:

I gasp as my Queen says she does not want any more tea! Not the yellow one! I thought its sunny essence may help to enliven her spirits!

“My Queen… your mother has attempted to contact you several times. What if… something was wrong, and she needed your assistance? Would you not feel terrible, for not getting in touch sooner?”

I, as the soldier say, ‘play dirty’. Oh, I know it is not good to cause my Queen guilt! But I do fear what could happen if she keeps her feelings bottled up!

Jean:

"If she's in trouble, it's because of Michael and if it's Michael I am the LAST one that should be coming to her aid."

He will make me destroy her before destroying everyone else including myself.

I get up frustrated and storm off.

JD:

It appears I truly did overstep, as my Queen runs off, seeming very upset.

“No wait, my Queen!”

I try to think of some excuse for her to return.

“You… You left your molecule headband behind!”

Sadly, I fear that excuse will not be good enough…